The myth of constant happiness: Why it’s okay not to be okay sometimes

Happiness is a feeling that we all strive for, and it’s something that we see celebrated everywhere we look. Social media has motivational quotes and posts encouraging us to “choose happiness” and “focus on the positive.” But the reality is, it’s not realistic to be happy all the time, no matter what those quotes may suggest.

Life is full of ups and downs, and there will always be moments when we feel sad, angry, or frustrated. Trying to force ourselves to be happy in those moments can actually do more harm than good. It’s important to acknowledge and honour our emotions, even the difficult ones.

When we try to suppress or ignore our negative emotions, we deny ourselves the opportunity to process and learn from them. Feeling sad after a loss or angry after being mistreated is natural. Those emotions are valid, and they serve a purpose. By allowing ourselves to feel and express them, we’re giving ourselves the chance to heal and grow.

Furthermore, constantly striving for happiness can create unrealistic expectations and put unnecessary pressure on ourselves. It’s okay to have bad days and not always feel happy. In fact, those moments of struggle can actually make us appreciate the good times even more.

The pressure to be happy all the time can also lead to feelings of guilt or shame when we do experience negative emotions. We may feel like we’re not doing something suitable or not living up to the expectations set by society or social media. But negative emotions are a natural and necessary part of the human experience.

That’s not to say we should wallow in our negative emotions or allow them to control us. It’s essential to care for ourselves and seek support when needed. But we should also recognise that it’s okay to not be happy always and that experiencing negative emotions is a normal and healthy part of life.

So, the next time you see a motivational quote on Instagram urging you to “choose happiness,” remember that it’s okay not to always feel happy. Embrace your excellent and destructive emotions, and give yourself the space and grace to feel them fully. Life is full of ups and downs, and that’s what makes it beautiful.